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I don't like Father's Day.
I haven't spoken with my dad in 33 years. The last time I spoke to him was on the telephone after my paternal grandmother passed away. It was a ten minute conversation that was stilted and awkward and after that we just never talked again.
My dad wasn't much of a dad. He wasn't much of a presence in my life at all. Honestly, he and my mom should have gotten divorced YEARS before they did, but they stuck together out of intertia and social pressure from both sets of parents. I mean, at one point, my dad was pretty much living somewhere else, only coming home in the middle of the week, in the middle of the day, when he knew no one would be around, to grab a change of clothes.
Yeah, he was pretty much fucking around with another woman, but my Mom knew about it and didn't do anything about it. As far as I'm concerned, she should have pulled the trigger on the divorce ages before she did, but she was just too weak to do it.
If that sounds harsh, it's probably because it is and because I just can't stand that kind of weakness in a person. I hate it in myself as well.
But, anyway, occasionally I hear things re my dad from people who I am only tangenitally connected to. Most of the comments aren't very positive. Apparently, he blames my mom for "turning my kids against me."
Um. No. You did that yourself with your absence and your lack of interest. Telephone and email work both ways. He could have called if he was interested in some kind of relationship. Hell, he could have sent a fucking postcard on a birthday or a Christmas card or something.
But he never did.
So fuck that guy.
Sometimes, I think Marilyn Monroe had the right idea. She never knew her father, so she decided that Abraham Lincoln would do as a nice substitute father figure.
Sometimes, I think I should have done something like that. I don't know who I would have picked, probably someone fictional like Jean-Luc Picard or maybe Jubal Harshaw.
But I didn't. I had to muddle through my formative years without a father-type figure. Did it mess me up? Maybe. I can't say that it didn't, because I'm not objective enough. It probably did.
The whole catastrophic marriage/divorce my parents went through definitely contributed to my aversion to ANY thought of marriage.
So I don't care for Father's Day. It just stirs up too much shit with me and that pisses me off. So, if you had a good dad, who was there when you were growing up and is still around today, you should be grateful.
And if you're a dad reading this, just know that a relationship with your kid is like any other relationship you want to maintain. It takes work. It takes time. Don't just assume your kids will continue to love/respect you if you don't make the fucking effort.
Because we won't.
And that'll fuck all of us up, probably.
Happy Father's Day :
I haven't spoken with my dad in 33 years. The last time I spoke to him was on the telephone after my paternal grandmother passed away. It was a ten minute conversation that was stilted and awkward and after that we just never talked again.
My dad wasn't much of a dad. He wasn't much of a presence in my life at all. Honestly, he and my mom should have gotten divorced YEARS before they did, but they stuck together out of intertia and social pressure from both sets of parents. I mean, at one point, my dad was pretty much living somewhere else, only coming home in the middle of the week, in the middle of the day, when he knew no one would be around, to grab a change of clothes.
Yeah, he was pretty much fucking around with another woman, but my Mom knew about it and didn't do anything about it. As far as I'm concerned, she should have pulled the trigger on the divorce ages before she did, but she was just too weak to do it.
If that sounds harsh, it's probably because it is and because I just can't stand that kind of weakness in a person. I hate it in myself as well.
But, anyway, occasionally I hear things re my dad from people who I am only tangenitally connected to. Most of the comments aren't very positive. Apparently, he blames my mom for "turning my kids against me."
Um. No. You did that yourself with your absence and your lack of interest. Telephone and email work both ways. He could have called if he was interested in some kind of relationship. Hell, he could have sent a fucking postcard on a birthday or a Christmas card or something.
But he never did.
So fuck that guy.
Sometimes, I think Marilyn Monroe had the right idea. She never knew her father, so she decided that Abraham Lincoln would do as a nice substitute father figure.
Sometimes, I think I should have done something like that. I don't know who I would have picked, probably someone fictional like Jean-Luc Picard or maybe Jubal Harshaw.
But I didn't. I had to muddle through my formative years without a father-type figure. Did it mess me up? Maybe. I can't say that it didn't, because I'm not objective enough. It probably did.
The whole catastrophic marriage/divorce my parents went through definitely contributed to my aversion to ANY thought of marriage.
So I don't care for Father's Day. It just stirs up too much shit with me and that pisses me off. So, if you had a good dad, who was there when you were growing up and is still around today, you should be grateful.
And if you're a dad reading this, just know that a relationship with your kid is like any other relationship you want to maintain. It takes work. It takes time. Don't just assume your kids will continue to love/respect you if you don't make the fucking effort.
Because we won't.
And that'll fuck all of us up, probably.
Happy Father's Day :
