![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Today, I did the deed.
I ended my friendship with Paul.
It didn't even take ten minutes.
I went out to his place, and gave him the money from the stuff The Store had bought from him, then told him that I wouldn't be back.
I tried to do it in a way that wasn't cruel or unkind, and Paul didn't seem surprised by my actions. Or my words.
I wished him well, and then I left.
I don't know what he's going to do now, but I hope it's something positive and proactive.
I really hope this doesn't cause him to spiral into a depressive episode, but if it does there's nothing I can do.
The other people in his circle will have to step up and help him.
I hope someone does. I really do.
I've unfriended him on FB and have blocked his number. I did stop by the library, where he has friends, and told them about the situation and asked them if they could, if appropriate, nudge him toward the library's social worker. I don't expect anything to come from that.
Then I drove away.
I feel bad that I don't feel bad, but I think I should have done this a while ago. Our friendship had just morphed into this obligation that the universe dropped around my neck, like an albatross. It had become a job that I no longer wanted to do.
So I quit and walked away.
Our mutual friend, Gina, said she totally understood. Which is nice. And everyone seemed to understand why I did it. Some people tried to make jokes, to lighten the mood, but I don't think this is particularly funny.
It's just sad.
And I'm tired of thinking about it, so I'm writing this down as a kind of eulogy for our old friendship. God willing, something good will come out of this.
:(
I ended my friendship with Paul.
It didn't even take ten minutes.
I went out to his place, and gave him the money from the stuff The Store had bought from him, then told him that I wouldn't be back.
I tried to do it in a way that wasn't cruel or unkind, and Paul didn't seem surprised by my actions. Or my words.
I wished him well, and then I left.
I don't know what he's going to do now, but I hope it's something positive and proactive.
I really hope this doesn't cause him to spiral into a depressive episode, but if it does there's nothing I can do.
The other people in his circle will have to step up and help him.
I hope someone does. I really do.
I've unfriended him on FB and have blocked his number. I did stop by the library, where he has friends, and told them about the situation and asked them if they could, if appropriate, nudge him toward the library's social worker. I don't expect anything to come from that.
Then I drove away.
I feel bad that I don't feel bad, but I think I should have done this a while ago. Our friendship had just morphed into this obligation that the universe dropped around my neck, like an albatross. It had become a job that I no longer wanted to do.
So I quit and walked away.
Our mutual friend, Gina, said she totally understood. Which is nice. And everyone seemed to understand why I did it. Some people tried to make jokes, to lighten the mood, but I don't think this is particularly funny.
It's just sad.
And I'm tired of thinking about it, so I'm writing this down as a kind of eulogy for our old friendship. God willing, something good will come out of this.
:(
Unfriending in the Real World
Jan. 2nd, 2024 05:25 pmTomorrow, I am going to unfriend someone in the real world.
Paul.
He's the bipolar diabetic guy I've known for about 10 years, and, over the last few years, I've been providing transportation to him for groceries, etc. because he fell on hard times.
I don't feel great doing this. I am not looking forward to the conversation I'm going to have to have with him tomorrow afternoon.
But it's going to happen.
I need it to happen.
I used to like hanging out with Paul and even helping him with his situation. But over time, that friendliness has whithered. Now, when I think of Paul, I just feel like he's this enormous obligation that the universe has dumped on me, hanging around my neck like an albatross.
I do not want to be around him. I do not want to do anything for him.
And I am tired of feeling like I should have to.
He's got family that should be looking after him, that should be aware of his worsening financial situation, that should be saying, "Hey! You have to leave that tomb of a trailer and come live with me!"
I am starting to actively resent him.
So, it's time to part ways.
It's time to say 'Have a nice life' and leave.
I'm not sure, exactly, what I'm going to say, but it will be final.
Any advice would be welcome. :(
Paul.
He's the bipolar diabetic guy I've known for about 10 years, and, over the last few years, I've been providing transportation to him for groceries, etc. because he fell on hard times.
I don't feel great doing this. I am not looking forward to the conversation I'm going to have to have with him tomorrow afternoon.
But it's going to happen.
I need it to happen.
I used to like hanging out with Paul and even helping him with his situation. But over time, that friendliness has whithered. Now, when I think of Paul, I just feel like he's this enormous obligation that the universe has dumped on me, hanging around my neck like an albatross.
I do not want to be around him. I do not want to do anything for him.
And I am tired of feeling like I should have to.
He's got family that should be looking after him, that should be aware of his worsening financial situation, that should be saying, "Hey! You have to leave that tomb of a trailer and come live with me!"
I am starting to actively resent him.
So, it's time to part ways.
It's time to say 'Have a nice life' and leave.
I'm not sure, exactly, what I'm going to say, but it will be final.
Any advice would be welcome. :(
(no subject)
Aug. 21st, 2023 09:40 pmSo, the Store won an award in a Local Newspaper. One of those "Best of" things that people vote on. And there's a party for the winners this Saturday night.
Jorg is going with his girlfriend and that's fine. Lord knows he works his ass off in that store and he deserves a party.
But, it would be nice if he asked me if I wanted to go.
I would say no, because I just don't really like parties any more.
But it would be nice to be asked.
:(
Jorg is going with his girlfriend and that's fine. Lord knows he works his ass off in that store and he deserves a party.
But, it would be nice if he asked me if I wanted to go.
I would say no, because I just don't really like parties any more.
But it would be nice to be asked.
:(
RIP Tina Turner
May. 24th, 2023 04:34 pmToday has not been a great day.
I went to the garage this morning because I decided I'd get new tires for the car. While I was there, I discovered that the last place I'd been too had put the 'wrong' sized tires on, when repairing/replacing my bent hub. It's not a a big deal, the tires work just fine and they aren't screwing with my car, they're just different tread sizes from the recommended. But then the garage said that they could get me the correct tires, but if I wanted to match the tires on the back, they'd have to order them, so I said 'Screw it' and just told them to put on what they had to hand. I just have to remember that I've got different sized treads if anyone talks about rotating the tires; they'll be fine as long as the identical tires are on the same axels, but could cause problems if they get mixed.
And THEN I find out that my driver-side tire rod is wearing out and needs to be replaced. So tack another $200 onto the bill.
When it rains it pours.
So, they couldn't get all the work done today, so I left the car at the garage and walked home. It was only a mile away and it's a nice day,so it wasn't bad. It only took about 20-30 minutes.
So, I get home and go online and the first fucking thing that I see is that the incomparable Tina Turner has passed away.
I loved Tina Turner. She was one of my favorite entertainers. I own her albums, saw her bio movie, read her biographies. Her life was a roller coaster ride of ups and downs, but in the end, she came through her troubles, finally found someone to genuinely love her and, hopefully, passed on peacefully.
I'm actually getting a bit misty eyed thinking about all of this, so I'm going to post this and then go listen to her music and toast the extraordinary woman that she was. :(
I went to the garage this morning because I decided I'd get new tires for the car. While I was there, I discovered that the last place I'd been too had put the 'wrong' sized tires on, when repairing/replacing my bent hub. It's not a a big deal, the tires work just fine and they aren't screwing with my car, they're just different tread sizes from the recommended. But then the garage said that they could get me the correct tires, but if I wanted to match the tires on the back, they'd have to order them, so I said 'Screw it' and just told them to put on what they had to hand. I just have to remember that I've got different sized treads if anyone talks about rotating the tires; they'll be fine as long as the identical tires are on the same axels, but could cause problems if they get mixed.
And THEN I find out that my driver-side tire rod is wearing out and needs to be replaced. So tack another $200 onto the bill.
When it rains it pours.
So, they couldn't get all the work done today, so I left the car at the garage and walked home. It was only a mile away and it's a nice day,so it wasn't bad. It only took about 20-30 minutes.
So, I get home and go online and the first fucking thing that I see is that the incomparable Tina Turner has passed away.
I loved Tina Turner. She was one of my favorite entertainers. I own her albums, saw her bio movie, read her biographies. Her life was a roller coaster ride of ups and downs, but in the end, she came through her troubles, finally found someone to genuinely love her and, hopefully, passed on peacefully.
I'm actually getting a bit misty eyed thinking about all of this, so I'm going to post this and then go listen to her music and toast the extraordinary woman that she was. :(
(no subject)
Aug. 1st, 2022 12:05 amSo, Jorg came home this evening from the show and Shadow went absolutely bat-shit crazy
It was sweet and a little bit frightening.
Irregardless, I am sleeping alone tonight and it feels a bit odd.
:(
In other news, Nichelle Nichols passed away today. She was 89. Celebrity deaths don't usually register with me, but I've read Ms. Nichols' autiobiography and she was a true icon and trailblazer. It's sad that, in the end, her life took such a sad turn (dementia, financial abuse, etc), but I hope that wherever she is now, that she is happy and well.
And now I'm going to read another chapter of 'What Moves the Dead' and then go to bed.
It was sweet and a little bit frightening.
Irregardless, I am sleeping alone tonight and it feels a bit odd.
:(
In other news, Nichelle Nichols passed away today. She was 89. Celebrity deaths don't usually register with me, but I've read Ms. Nichols' autiobiography and she was a true icon and trailblazer. It's sad that, in the end, her life took such a sad turn (dementia, financial abuse, etc), but I hope that wherever she is now, that she is happy and well.
And now I'm going to read another chapter of 'What Moves the Dead' and then go to bed.
George Perez 06/09/54 - 05/06/22
May. 7th, 2022 11:22 pmToday, George Perez died.
I never met him, but I was an avid fan of his artwork and everyone says that he was one of the nicest fellows you could meet.
The world is poorer without him in it, and I mourn for his loved ones.
:(
I never met him, but I was an avid fan of his artwork and everyone says that he was one of the nicest fellows you could meet.
The world is poorer without him in it, and I mourn for his loved ones.
:(
Halloween 2021
Oct. 31st, 2021 07:14 pmHappy Halloween and Samhain blessings to all this night.
I'm feeling a bit sad right now, as I decided to end my YouTube Channel this evening. I did a short video, wishing everyone farewell.
I was going to wait for the 250th video, but, like I say in the video, a good guest knows when it's time to leave. So that's what I did.
Also, I don't really feel like I can say anything else about my chosen subject. At this point, I'd just be repeating myself ad nauseum.
So, it was time to say goodbye.
Now I'm going to have this big gap in my week. I won't know what to do with myself on Tuesday afternoons anymore.
Maybe I should go and help out at the Store?
I don't know.
All I know it that it's Halloween and it's time to move forward.
I wish Jorg were home, but he had to pack up the booth at the show and then he's probably going out eating/drinking with his buddies. I did have some things I wanted to do tonight, but I don't want to leave Shadowpup alone. He gets super-neurotic if he's left alone too long.
Anyway, I hope all of you are having a good night.
I'm feeling a bit sad right now, as I decided to end my YouTube Channel this evening. I did a short video, wishing everyone farewell.
I was going to wait for the 250th video, but, like I say in the video, a good guest knows when it's time to leave. So that's what I did.
Also, I don't really feel like I can say anything else about my chosen subject. At this point, I'd just be repeating myself ad nauseum.
So, it was time to say goodbye.
Now I'm going to have this big gap in my week. I won't know what to do with myself on Tuesday afternoons anymore.
Maybe I should go and help out at the Store?
I don't know.
All I know it that it's Halloween and it's time to move forward.
I wish Jorg were home, but he had to pack up the booth at the show and then he's probably going out eating/drinking with his buddies. I did have some things I wanted to do tonight, but I don't want to leave Shadowpup alone. He gets super-neurotic if he's left alone too long.
Anyway, I hope all of you are having a good night.
Meatless Day #3
Sep. 10th, 2021 08:20 pmToday has been a bit sad. At the Store, we learned one of our regular customers passed away last night from Covid. He'd been in the hospital, hooked up to a respirator for about a week. The virus had ravaged his lungs so badly that oxygen could no longer enter his bloodstream and, gradually, his organs shut down, one by one.
So, that set the tone for the day, which was slow and quiet and a bit weird.
I'm glad to be home. I'm glad to have made it home as numerous people seemed to forget how to fucking drive this evening.
As I type this, I'm finishing my supper. Today is the third day of my meatless week, so I've made it to the halfway mark. Tonight, I'm having some mac-n-cheese with sweet peas, a protein drink and, afterwards, some chocolate chip cookies.
I'm hoping that tomorrow is a better day.
So, that set the tone for the day, which was slow and quiet and a bit weird.
I'm glad to be home. I'm glad to have made it home as numerous people seemed to forget how to fucking drive this evening.
As I type this, I'm finishing my supper. Today is the third day of my meatless week, so I've made it to the halfway mark. Tonight, I'm having some mac-n-cheese with sweet peas, a protein drink and, afterwards, some chocolate chip cookies.
I'm hoping that tomorrow is a better day.
Today, I'm a bit sad. I got word this morning that a friend of mine passed away yesterday. It was natural causes, and not entirely unexpected. Tuberski was about 7 feet tall and had a history of heart/circulatory issues. He was on a ton of blood pressure related medications.
So, I'm a bit sad.
And I'm probably going to wind up eating my feelings a bit. So, that's going to be a thing.
I could just declare today a Free Day, but I don't think I'm going to. I'm just going to track and persevere.
* * * *
Today I have eaten:
8 slices of Pizza
So, I'm a bit sad.
And I'm probably going to wind up eating my feelings a bit. So, that's going to be a thing.
I could just declare today a Free Day, but I don't think I'm going to. I'm just going to track and persevere.
* * * *
Today I have eaten:
8 slices of Pizza
My first cousin, Benny Wes, died this past Saturday. I just found out today. My Mom told me when I called to see if she was up for a visit. She did NOT give any warning, just blurted out, "Benny Wes died Saturday night from a massive heart attack!"
Yeah.
Sensitive, my mother is not. Heh.
So, that has colored my whole day.
I'm not terribly upset as I wasn't particularly close to my cousin, but I am a bit sad. Still, it hasn't triggered me to eat everything in sight.
In fact, today has been pretty good.
Today, I've had:
1 tuna sandwich
1 small bag of chips
1 Wendy's Double Bacon Classic
1 Wendy's Medium Fries
1 Medium Sweet Tea.
Altogether, that's about 2400 cals.
If I seem unaffected by my cousin's death, as I said, we weren't particularly close. But he was a nice person, whose health wasn't great the last few years, and I tell myself that wherever he is now, he, hopefully, isn't in pain.
Goodbye, cousin. Maybe we'll see each other again some day.
Yeah.
Sensitive, my mother is not. Heh.
So, that has colored my whole day.
I'm not terribly upset as I wasn't particularly close to my cousin, but I am a bit sad. Still, it hasn't triggered me to eat everything in sight.
In fact, today has been pretty good.
Today, I've had:
1 tuna sandwich
1 small bag of chips
1 Wendy's Double Bacon Classic
1 Wendy's Medium Fries
1 Medium Sweet Tea.
Altogether, that's about 2400 cals.
If I seem unaffected by my cousin's death, as I said, we weren't particularly close. But he was a nice person, whose health wasn't great the last few years, and I tell myself that wherever he is now, he, hopefully, isn't in pain.
Goodbye, cousin. Maybe we'll see each other again some day.
