melworks

Tonight, after work, I met the lovely Hannah for supper at Inakaya Watanabe. It's been about a year since we've seen each other face-to-face, and she looked amazing. She'd lost wait and was less stressed and seemed genuinely happy. I'm very happy for her.

I'd never been to Inakya before. The atmosphere was a bit dark for my taste. I had to turn on my phone's flashlight to reach the menu. The food was good and the waitstaff was friendly.

They accidentally brought me the wrong entree, so I got free food. Yay! Didn't do any sake as I was driving home, and sake tends to hit me like a sledgehammer. I did have a glass of white wine.

Hannah and I talked for about two hours. She told me about her new boyfriend, who she's been with for about a year now, and who she's been living with for a few months(!!!). I had no idea. She told me about her business and her plans to diversify her client base.

We talked a bit about Jorg, as he is the reason we know each other, but she's pretty much over him.

When we left the restaurant, we promised we'd get together again without another year passing.

Here's hoping we can do it. :D

Today, I did the deed.
I ended my friendship with Paul.
It didn't even take ten minutes.
I went out to his place, and gave him the money from the stuff The Store had bought from him, then told him that I wouldn't be back.
I tried to do it in a way that wasn't cruel or unkind, and Paul didn't seem surprised by my actions. Or my words.
I wished him well, and then I left.
I don't know what he's going to do now, but I hope it's something positive and proactive.
I really hope this doesn't cause him to spiral into a depressive episode, but if it does there's nothing I can do.
The other people in his circle will have to step up and help him.
I hope someone does. I really do.
I've unfriended him on FB and have blocked his number. I did stop by the library, where he has friends, and told them about the situation and asked them if they could, if appropriate, nudge him toward the library's social worker. I don't expect anything to come from that.
Then I drove away.
I feel bad that I don't feel bad, but I think I should have done this a while ago. Our friendship had just morphed into this obligation that the universe dropped around my neck, like an albatross. It had become a job that I no longer wanted to do.
So I quit and walked away.
Our mutual friend, Gina, said she totally understood. Which is nice. And everyone seemed to understand why I did it. Some people tried to make jokes, to lighten the mood, but I don't think this is particularly funny.
It's just sad.
And I'm tired of thinking about it, so I'm writing this down as a kind of eulogy for our old friendship. God willing, something good will come out of this.
:(

Woke up tired this morning and I've been dragging all day.

Today was a Paul Day. He txted me on Sunday evening to ask if we could do laundry, but I didn't see it until this morning, so laundry did not happen.

We did the library and the grocery store, and he asked if he could borrow some cash to pay his water bill. I gave in and gave it to him, but eventually I'm going to say 'no.' He did ask the Water Company if they knew of any kind of financial assistance he could get regarding his situation, but they were pretty dismissive.

He's also having a hard time paying his electric bill. He owes like $500. I think, eventually, he'll be sitting out there in the dark with no water. I'd like to help but I don't make that much and can't afford to keep paying my friend's fucking bills. His FAMILY needs to goddamn step up and do more, or Paul just needs to knuckle down and get some real financial assistance.

We hung out for a while, and then I came home. Jorg was supposed to have some cash for me, but he's not here and there's no money in my bedroom. So, I'll be seeing him tomorrow.

And, on top of all that, I think I may have been zapped by a cop with a radar gun on the way home. If I get a speeding ticket, I'm going to be pretty fucking mad.